I remember a time when Monday mornings included 45-minute coffee catch-ups with my coworkers. Wednesday nights were reserved for team yoga classes. Long lunches and after-work happy hours were monthly — if not weekly — occurrences. We celebrated birthdays and new babies; we mourned losses and missed opportunities.
These were not work-sanctioned events. These were self-propelled gatherings initiated by the employees themselves. (We all know the difference.)
Then the pandemic hit. Enough said.
Of course, all of the aforementioned activities are still possible today, but for many remote and hybrid employees, they feel impossibly out of reach.
I am part of the 41% of U.S. workers with jobs that can be done remotely working a hybrid schedule and I cherish it. Remote work has helped me and millions of others be better, more efficient employees while also allowing us to be more present in our personal lives.
But, for many, it comes at the cost of connection with coworkers. Remote work is like sieving for gemstones — it has a way of distilling interactions down to the most pressing, ruby-sized action items, but some small sapphires will surely fall through the screen. Which is a darn shame because those small sapphires are the foundation of true friendship.
According to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, it takes more than 200 hours of interaction to build a “best friend.” No wonder that workplaces have long birthed so many friendships. Under the right circumstances, the typical full-time employee could forge close relationships in less than two months. What other area of our lives provides that much potential for accelerated friendship building?
Remote teams are connected on multiple digital platforms, yet we know less about each other as people. Sad fact of the day: Less than half of American workers — about 40% — believe someone at work cares about them.
With loneliness at epidemic proportions, I’d like to ask: Who on your team can you care for this month? “Caring” could be as simple as asking a question about your coworker’s outside interests, scheduling an informal video call or going to lunch when you are both in the office.
In our pursuit of diamonds, let’s not overlook the small, but significant sapphires.
